


i hate your guts 'cause I'm loving every minute of it

by jolie_unfiltrd



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, As always italics are used very liberally, Characters besides Theon/Sansa are just mentioned, F/M, I make zero apologies for this, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, John Mayer - Freeform, Oh god I guess Ramsay is also technically mentioned but like ugh he's the worst, POV Sansa, Road Trips, Snarky Banter, Taylor Swift - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:06:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14129697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolie_unfiltrd/pseuds/jolie_unfiltrd
Summary: Theon slid into the passenger seat and immediately unplugged her phone, sliding the sync cord into his headphone jack. “Okay Sans, I made two playlists: songs Robb would cry to, and songs Jon would masturbate to. Which one do you want? To be honest, they’re mostly the same but - ”Sansa’s eyes slid heavenward as she tuned him out completely, adding a new resolution to her list: #6. Don’t kill Theon.-OR Sansa & Theon take a twelve-hour road-trip together for spring break. Some drama, lots of arguments over who should be the DJ, and definitely some unresolved sexual tension. I mean, it's basically what powers the car.fic title: "love on the weekend" by john mayer





	i hate your guts 'cause I'm loving every minute of it

**Author's Note:**

> TW: implied attempted sexual assault. It is very, very vague, but it is there, in the HOUR 10.25 section. Just wanted to give a head's up!

#### HOUR 3

“Gods, Theon, you’re so selfish!” she shrieked, hating that she sounded so petulant. He brought out the worst in her, he always had. 

Theon only sneered in return, upper lip curled up in a snarl. “Me? I’m selfish?! Oh that’s rich, Princess. Tell me more about how your life is _so hard_ \- “ 

“Oh fuck off, Theon, like you know everything about me.” She crossed her arms and threw herself against the window like a teenager instead of the grown-ass women she was. Is. Whatever. 

“I know you're a fucking drama queen. All I said was that if I have to listen to Taylor Swift one more time, I’ll throw myself out the window.” 

_Right, and I’m the drama queen_ , she thought. Sansa reached over and turned up the volume.

_Haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate Baby I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake_

“Fine, then I’ll tell you every detail of Robb’s sex life -“

Sansa gasped audibly, and Theon smirked in triumph. “How _dare_ you.” She would honestly, literally rather get a tattoo of Theon’s face on her face before hearing about Robb’s sexual preferences. 

“Well then, princess, I have two words for you: John Mayer.” 

“Never.” She rotated back to the window, turning up her nose as much as she could. A lady had to keep a hold of her pride, and her dignity, and - 

“Turn it to John Mayer, or I’ll tell you how much Robb likes it when Myrcella-“ 

Sansa fumbled with her phone with a speed that would have rivaled Margaery’s sexting abilities in her peak tease days (high school Marg specialized in two things- seduction and the harp- so her fingers were quite skilled).

_We got the afternoon You got the room for two One thing I’ve left to do Discovering me Discovering you_

Theon raised an eyebrow before he started singing along.

She rolled her eyes before allowing a grudging smile to pass over her face. 

At least he could sing, she reasoned. 

\---

#### HOUR 1

Well, Sansa could cross item #3 off of her new year's resolution list: don’t be a pushover. She’d made a valiant effort, started saying no to things she didn’t have time for (volunteering another day a week at the animal shelter on top of school and work) or just plain didn’t want to do (nude modeling class with Margaery - no thanks, even if the teacher was a total fox, Daario only had eyes for Margaery, as per usual). 

Staring out the window and drumming her fingers on the steering wheel to Taylor Swift’s latest jam, she thought that while maybe she hadn’t earned the shoes that were going to be her prize next December when she was a stand-up, say-no bad-ass, she’d earned at least a fourth of them. It was March, after all. Maybe her parents would go in on half for her birthday, and if she pulled double-shifts at the bridal boutique, she might be able to - 

a sharp rap on her window startled her out of her blush-tinted daze. At first, all she saw was bright green eyes under mussed, just-jumped-out-of-bed hair. Or maybe just-got-laid hair - with Theon, it all looked the same. 

“Sansa! Can you pop the trunk? I’ve got the specialty ale Robb requested.” 

Sansa couldn’t help but roll her eyes alongside Theon as she pressed the button on her left. This spring break trip had been Robb’s idea, and he’d been so damn extra about the whole thing. Matching t-shirts (which he had, thankfully, let Sansa take the reins on), specialty ale with custom labels, matching beach towels, a theme (Jamaican Me Crazy*), it was honestly a bit much. 

But the worst part was, he chose to go down a day early - and asked Sansa if she would drive Theon to meet them at the beach. Jon already had Arya, Gendry, Sam and Gilly in his car (Arya would obviously DJ), and he was taking Myrcella down with him to “keep him company” on the drive. Ugh, Sansa barely suppressed her gag reflex. They’d probably pull over to make-out during the sunsets and pitstops or something ridiculous like that. 

She was glad they were so madly, desperately in love - but being around them reminded her of how alone she was. 

(And there goes #2: don’t pine over your nonexistent love life! You’re a strong, independent woman! You don’t need a man! 

Ugh, maybe 2019 would be her year for Dream Shoes.) 

So, like a typical people-pleasing pushover, she said “sure!” brightly, and now she and Theon were driving to the beach together. 

In a car. 

For twelve hours. 

Theon slid into the passenger seat and immediately unplugged her phone, sliding the sync cord into his headphone jack. “Okay Sans, I made two playlists: songs Robb would cry to, and songs Jon would masturbate to. Which one do you want? To be honest, they’re mostly the same but - ” 

Sansa’s eyes slid heavenward as she tuned him out completely, adding a new resolution to her list: #6. Don’t kill Theon. 

\---

#### HOUR 5

Theon’s snores echoed throughout the car, his head tipped back against the seat and mouth wide open. 

Sansa wanted to laugh at him, or throw a candy into his mouth, but unfortunately, they were in heavy traffic and all out of candy. 

So, she did the next best thing.

_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us How we met and the sparks flew instantly_

Theon groaned in his sleep, tossing his head to the side. She smirked and turned up the music, resisting the strangest urge to brush the hair back from his eyes.

She remembered the day Robb had found Theon and invited him home after swim practice, the two of them shaking off like wet dogs all over Sansa’s new outfit. It hadn’t taken much for her to take a dislike to the boy with the mischievous eyes and a dangerous smirk that quirked to the side in a way that always implied you weren’t quite in on the joke.

He’d teased her and called her princess, so she hated him for the next five years or so. 

She wasn’t sure when that had changed, when he’d become someone she could count on. When he’d become someone she teased over take-out at their friend’s monthly movie nights, sent silly pictures to over Snapchat when she was bored or a little drunk, joined forces to embarrass Arya and Gendry, Robb and Myrcella, and even Jon, when they weren’t feeling too sorry that Ygritte had dumped him shortly after beginning his law degree. 

Theon was bound into her life now in a way that felt inevitable, and like she couldn’t disentangle from him even if she wanted to. 

And oddly enough, she didn’t. 

Sometimes, she still wanted to torment him a bit though, in payback for all those years of teasing and wet hair shaken all over her new, carefully curated outfits. 

She turned up the Taylor Swift. 

\---

#### HOUR 2

“I spy with my little eye, something brown.” 

“Is it the dirt?” she asked flatly, staring straight ahead at the white lines along the road as a semi-truck passed them on the left. 

Theon smiled ruefully at her, feet up on the dashboard despite multiple requests for him to take them down. “Bingo.” 

“Okay, that’s it, no more I spy. We’ve run out of things to spy.” 

It was true, the landscape had become completely barren as they moved out of King’s Landing, where they were both attending university, and up towards the beach at Casterly, where they’d be staying at Myrcella’s uncle’s beach house. It was just open road, dirt and fields of grass and they were completely, utterly bored. 

Sansa glanced at the GPS - _9 hours, 54 minutes remaining to your destination_ \- and groaned. 

“Do you want to play another game?” 

“Sure,” she said, tossing her braid over her shoulder and completely missing the mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“Never have I ever…” 

“Ugh, no, Theon!” 

He laughed outrageously. 

_Sansa, be reasonable. You can’t kill Theon just because you’re bored and he’s Theon, you have to wait for him to be truly obnoxious, otherwise Robb will never forgive you. Don’t kill Theon._

Thank the gods, he quickly found a podcast that they could both listen to for an hour. It turns out they were both hooked on a reality TV show: The Red Woman and Her Lord of Light. 

_On this week’s episode of “She Did What Now?!” we look at last week’s famous scandal where Melisandre revealed her true age and her last two partners, Stannis the Mannis and Tormund the Ginger Lover, were taken aback …_

\---

#### HOUR 4

“Theon, if you get mustard on my car, I will murder you,” she said without heat, stuffing a cheeseburger into her mouth as fast as humanly possible. The fries just weren’t as good cold. 

“Sans, you have mustard on your face,” Theon said, slurping his iced fountain drink with an obscene amount of pleasure. 

“What? Where?” She looked over at him, slightly impressed he’d been able to understand her through the double patty with extra bacon currently stuffed in her mouth. 

(Resolution #2: Don’t be afraid to indulge occasionally! 

Why! Did all of her resolutions! End in exclamations!

Resolution #7: Less exclamations.) 

He tilted his head, then licked his thumb and swiped it along her lower lip before sucking it into his mouth, keeping his green eyes locked on hers as he did so. 

She swallowed heavily, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth without thinking. Theon just looked at her, a contemplative look in his eyes, before turning back to slurp down his drink in the most obnoxious manner possible.

(Resolution #8: Don’t overanalyze Theon he’s just being weird like always there’s definitely no sexual undertones just EAT YOUR BURGER SANSA pull your self TOGETHER woman.

She’d never seen him look at anyone like that before.)

She dipped her fries in her milkshake and swatted Theon’s hand away without thinking as he reached to steal a french fry. 

“Mine,” she said. 

\---

#### HOUR 10

“Sansa…” Theon trailed off hesitantly, rubbing one hand on the back of his neck as the other skittered nervously across the steering wheel logo. 

She blearily looked up from where she’d been dozing against the window, lost in a half-dream, humming in acknowledgement as she curled up into her sweater. She’d thought it would be getting warmer, not colder, as they got closer to the beach. 

He opened his mouth, then closed it rapidly, shaking his head as he muttered: “Never mind.” 

Sansa sat up in her seat a little straighter, curious about what could make Theon so tight-lipped. 

“What is it?” 

His eyes flickered towards her, skimming over her messy braid and long legs folded up underneath her, and he sighed, letting the words out all in a jumble. 

“Why do you hate me?” 

“Hate you?” She couldn’t control the shock that bloomed across her face, mouth agape and eyes wide as she stared at the man to her left. “I don’t hate you, Theon.” 

“I thought, at first, it was about that night after Ramsay’s party-“ 

“Ramsay’s party?” Sansa shook her head in disbelief, surprised he’d bring up one of the worst nights of her life. “Why would I hate you after that? Hate him, sure, but you?” 

He bit his lip and squeezed both hands tight on the steering wheel, knuckles white and a flush of embarrassment spreading across his face. “You said a lot of things that night…” 

“What- to you?” 

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” he muttered, before looking at her again more seriously. “You don’t remember?” 

“Don’t remember what, Theon?” She wished she could stop talking in question marks - but she didn’t understand what was going on, and for the first time, with Theon, she really wanted to. This seemed absolutely mad. She didn’t remember a thing after Robb and Jon had shown up and beat Ramsay bloody. 

“It’s nothing, Sans, don’t worry about it.” 

She narrowed her eyes, taking in the tension in his shoulders, the crease between his eyes, and the way he wouldn’t look at her, only the road. 

Which, honestly, was probably smart. Considering they were actively driving. 

\---

#### HOUR 6

Theon crooned into a hairbrush he had found in her glove compartment, serenading her for what seemed like the fifteen hundredth time with “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” 

“Swim in a deep sea of blankets,” he offered her the substitute microphone and rolled with it when she curled her lip in disgust, continuing on, “take all your big plans-“

She slammed her finger into the volume button, turning off the stereo system and hoping that would give her some form of relief. With a glance over at the wry grin on his face, she wanted to close her eyes in abject horror as he continued singing, at top volume, acapella. 

“AND BREAK THEM! THIS IS BOUND TO BE -“

“Please, Theon, please. Can we not sing? Can we like, sit in silence or something?” 

“Was that the word please?” He held a hand to his chest dramatically. “Why, Sansa, I never thought I’d hear you beg for me-“

“To quit singing? I bet girls beg for that all the time,” she muttered dryly, letting her lips quirk up as he laughed and held his hands up in surrender. 

“Alright, alright, I’ve met my daily quota of YBIAW.” 

Her eyes rolled so hard in her head she was surprised they didn’t stick there like her mother had always warned her. _Of course he had an acronym for it._

Theon surprised her when, instead of simply skipping ahead to the next John Mayer song, he opened up his bookbag and pulled out a plain-looking novel, flipping it open to somewhere in the middle before settling back against the seat. Her eyes lingered on the flash of skin between his soft t-shirt and dark jeans as he stretched his arm up to cradle his head - before snapping back to the road in front of her. 

One minute passed.

Another five minutes passed in silence. 

At the ten minute mark, Sansa began to change her mind about the value of silence. She was bored, they still had six hours to go, and he wasn’t paying (a truly obnoxious amount) of attention to her. 

“Ugh, I’m so jealous,” Sansa said, prodding at Theon’s leg with a manicured finger. 

“Hmm?” He looked up at her after a moment, marking his place in the book with his thumb. 

“I’m jealous that you can read in the car without getting sick.” 

Theon grinned lasciviously, licking his lips and waggling his eyebrows in a truly outrageous fashion. “I’m a man of many talents, love.” 

She rolled her eyes, but laughed a little - she couldn’t help it. Only six hours in the car and she was beginning to think he was funny and charming and handsome and - 

_oh my god._

Gods, she must be losing it. Sansa let her eyes drift casually to the way the perpetually tousled waves fell over his forehead, startling light eyes skimming the pages as he toyed with his bottom lip absentmindedly, before shaking her head determinedly. 

She had to find a way to return him to “brother’s best friend” status in her head, and A.S.A.P. 

“What are you reading?” she asked, almost desperately, trying to shake whatever hormone-induced fog had tinted her world such a pleasant pink. _Please say “Girls Gone Wild,” please say Memoirs of a Playboy Bunny, please say -_

“Oh,” he looked up at her in surprise. “Um, Atonement, by Ian McEwan.” 

_Goddammit. Why is that hot? That shouldn’t be hot._

The next words spilled out of her mouth, almost without thinking: “Would you read it to me?” 

Theon looked up at her, brows furrowed in confusion, and she made her eyes stay focused on his. She definitely did not look down to his lips - dammit. “You want me to read it, aloud, to you?” 

“Well, not with that attitude-“ she said, even as he broke off laughing. 

“Alright, alright. You’ve read it before, right? I seem to remember a high school Sansa weeping over - ” 

“Yes, yes, it was heartbreaking and - I’m sure - hilarious for everyone watching. Just get on with it, then, will you?” 

She nodded, and he began at the start of the next chapter, his voice surprisingly melodic and soothing as they cruised along. Her heart flipped over sluggishly in her chest as his hand settled on the middle of the seat next to hers, palm rough and calloused from three years as captain of the sailing team, fingernails bitten down as a nervous habit he’d never been able to kick. 

Well, she thought to herself, inhaling and noticing how the car smelled different than her normal vanilla cupcake - more like sea salt and dark chocolate and - this is new. 

\---

#### HOUR 10.25

She only made it a measly fifteen minutes before claiming she had to pee, and darting off into the dark at the nearest rest stop, heart racing a mile a minute. 

Leaning against a tree, out of the spotlight’s accusing light - _coward, coward_ , it seemed to say as the fluorescent light flickered uncertainly - she tried her damndest to figure out what Theon could have been talking about. She didn’t remember a lot about that night, just a few months ago, and what she did remember, she tried her hardest to forget. Ramsay’s clammy hands against her skin, hearing herself say “no” over and over again, the look on Robb’s face when he arrived - murderous and desperate to save her, both. She remembered someone carrying her to the car, remembered being cradled in someone’s arms and feeling safe in their embrace, but that’s it.

The next thing she can remember is coming down for coffee in the morning, taking note of Robb’s bloody and broken knuckles and kissing his forehead, squeezing his shoulder tightly before asking if he’d like some coffee. 

It didn’t make any sense - she jumped as the lanky boy came around the corner, giving her plenty of space as he did so. 

“Hey there,” he said, a half-smile on his face and still more serious than she’d ever seen him. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” 

“What?” 

“You didn’t really have to pee, right?” His nose crinkled up as he looked at her uncertainly and she couldn’t help but laugh, shaking her head even as she wrapped her arms around her waist in the chill of the night. “I just wanted to see if you were alright.” 

Sansa leaned back against the tree, tilting her head as she studied him. “I… I don’t remember hardly anything from that night.” 

Theon sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, chagrined. “Thought that might be the case.” 

She paused for a moment, but the silence between them hung too heavy, charged with something she didn’t recognize. “What happened? What did I say to make you think I hated you?” 

He shook his head. “It wasn’t what you said that night, it’s that you never said anything afterwards. I thought you might be, I don’t know, embarrassed?” 

She groaned and let her face fall into her hands. “Oh my god, what did I say? Did I ‘fess up to my My Little Pony collection?” 

“No,” he said, before looking up at her with a gleam in his eyes. “Wait, what? Your My Little-“

“Nevermind that, what did I _say_ , Theon?” 

“You -“ he cleared his throat, as uncomfortable as she’d ever seen him. And she’d seen her mother scold him after catching him in the poorhouse with some girl, in flagrante. “You started out by saying how boys only wanted you for your body, how you were worthless for anything else. You told me what Ramsay tried to do to you, what you did with Joffrey, even though you’d didn’t want to. Even Harry - how you did things that you’d thought you wanted to do, but you really really didn’t.” 

Once he started speaking, the words cascaded out of him, this terrible waterfall of her innermost thoughts, revealed casually to her brother’s best friend on the worst night of her life. He kept his gaze fixated on hers, eyes earnest and wretched, even as her hands raised up to her mouth in horror. 

“I had carried you to my car-“

“That was you?” she whispered, even though she knew the answer, so quiet he wouldn’t have been able to hear it if he wasn’t standing so close. He only nodded. 

“And I helped you up to your bed, once we got to your house, and I tried to slip away so you could sleep - but you held my hand and asked me to stay. You said,” he broke off, tugging at his color as a flush spread up his neck, “that I was the only man who’d never wanted you for your body, that I looked at you like a little sister and that I made you feel safe.” 

“Is that all?” 

He sighed, avoiding her eyes as he nodded. 

“Well, that’s… pretty terrible, to be honest,” she said quietly, turning over her thoughts in her head before noticing the wreckage on his sharp features. “But why do you still look so wretched?” 

Theon flickered his eyes up to hers in disbelief. She waited, patiently. 

“Because it’s not true,” he confessed after a moment, calloused palms open in supplication. 

“That I’m not worthless? That my body is the only good thing about me? Theon, I know that.” _Finally_ , she added privately. It had taken lots of therapy and journaling and dumb exercises from her dumb amazing therapist, but she finally, truly knew that. 

“No, that I never wanted you,” he said, sounding like a broken man, green eyes searching hers as the words tumbled from his lips. “That I looked at you like a little sister.” 

The breath rushed from her lungs and hung in the air between them. The silence was a heavy, solid thing, and she couldn’t bear to break it, couldn’t tear her gaze away from him, couldn’t find the words to tell him - to say - 

“You want me?” She hated how vulnerable she sounded, how raw her voice and how deep her longing.

A half-smile crossed his lips, eyes dreamy in the lamplight. “Since the first time I saw you.” 

“And you never told me?” 

He sighed and raked a hand through his messy hair. “The timing never seemed right. I thought I was going to around Christmas time - Robb threatened to tell you if I didn’t - but then that party happened and Ramsay happened and -“ he broke off, and she waited patiently for him to continue, ignoring her dear brother’s involvement in this for another time. 

“You told me I made you feel safe, you held my hand and you trusted me. Sansa, what was I supposed to do with that?” 

“What, so you just gave up?” 

He shook his head, frustrated and clearly caught in a prison of his own making. “I wanted to give you time and tell you when the time was right, but then you didn’t say anything about what you’d said to me that night and I thought you might hate me for hearing what sounded like your innermost secrets-“

Sansa reached out and grabbed his hand between hers, startling him into silence. “Theon,” she said firmly, “I don’t hate you.” She offered him a teasing grin, even as she rubbed her thumb down the back of his hand in soothing circles. “I’m guessing Robb arranged this car arrangement?” 

“Oh, no, he actually-“ he shook his head and laughed a little. “No, you’ll find out when we get there.” 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “That son-of-a-bitch is proposing to her today, isn’t he?” 

He winked conspiratorially at her. “That son-of-a- _nice-lady_ is definitely proposing to her today. If he doesn’t back out, that is” 

“Nice lady? Gods, does my mother still terrify you that much?” 

Theon looked serious as the grave. “I refuse to blaspheme her, even from this distance.” 

Sansa let a laugh slide off of her lips, noticing how his eyes brightened at the sound. 

“Come on,” he said, a relieved smile playing on his lips as he tugged her back towards the car. “We don’t want to miss the totally surprise, didn’t see it coming, celebration party. Honestly, Sans, I’m surprised you didn’t predict it with the themed t-shirts.” 

“I just didn’t think he’d pick such a terrible theme! I mean, Jamaican Me Crazy? Come on! Was that your idea?” she said teasingly, even as he dropped her hand to make his way around to the driver’s side. 

He didn’t respond until they had both climbed back in the car, and his face was solemn as he said: “Don’t insult me like that ever again.”

She laughed and laughed as he started the car and they pulled out for the last bit of their trip. 

\---

#### HOUR 11

His hands skittered across the steering wheel, tapping to the rhythm of the song playing on the radio. They had decided a few hours ago that it would be easier to let the radio play than to constantly fight over which playlist they should listen to on whose phone. They’d ended up listening to both of Theon’s playlists - for Robb to weep over, and Jon’s… member to weep over - and they were honestly quite good, but it was the final countdown to beach time and they needed some local inspiration to keep their motivation going. 

Sansa could hardly hear the song on the radio, so intently was she focused on the man in the driver’s seat. She couldn’t stop looking at him, tracing the contours of his jawline in the evening light, the sharp twist of his collarbone underneath his shirt, the corded muscles in his arms, the glint in his sea green eyes. She couldn’t stop wondering when she’d started to see him like this - it certainly couldn’t have started this morning. 

It felt like he’d always been there, but she’d never really seen him, not until today. Not until Atonement, and hours of belting John Mayer songs, and the feel of his thumb against her lip. His warm hand cradled in hers, sparking a flash of electricity and familiarity that she’d always assumed had been uniquely Theon. She’d always missed it with someone else. 

She made a decision, one born out of curiosity and need and an expected coil of desire, deep in her belly. 

“Pull over, Greyjoy.” 

He looked at her sharply, eyebrows knotted together as his gaze traced her body. “Everything alright?” 

“Just, pull over,” she said impatiently, waving her hand, even as the nerves in her body were starting to vibrate at an alarming pace and her heart had taken up permanent residence in her throat. 

He did as she asked, for once in their lives, putting the car into park and looking over at her, about to ask what was going on - 

She kissed him. She simply unbuckled her seatbelt, leaned over and placed a soft hand on his cheek, pulling him gently forward until their lips met, eyes flickering uncertainly between his eyes and the delicate line of his lips until he licked them unconsciously, and she couldn’t possibly resist a moment longer. 

Her lips pressed against his - and it was everything she thought it would be. Everything she’d always thought a kiss could be, in a way that it never had been before. He opened his mouth and she swallowed his groan as the kiss deepened, her blood flowing hot and heavy through her veins as his hands found their way into her hair, onto her waist, pulling her impossibly closer and practically onto his lap. 

Not that she was complaining, mind you. His kisses felt like a live-wire, and she shuddered as his tongue wound against her own before pulling back. 

He took a deep breath, looked at her like she was a golden girl on a pedestal, a goddess brought to earth’s lucky mortals, and kissed her back until she was dizzy, until she saw stars, until she could barely breathe but she could certainly moan and whimper and mewl and bite and lick and - 

he pressed his forehead against hers, hands tangled in the nape of her neck as hers had found their way under his t-shirt to feel along his chest and shoulders. She hadn’t even realized she’d been doing it. 

“Sansa,” he drawled, the familiar tease back in his voice, rough-edged as it was with desire. “We’re going to be late for Robb’s spring break extravaganza kick-off party.” 

She looked at him like he was an idiot, tossing her mussed braid over her shoulder as she said, loftily, “We had a flat tire. It took us a while to get it fixed.” 

“A while?” he said deviously, raising an eyebrow at the mischievous redhead in his lap. 

“A good, long while,” she smirked back, before pressing her lips boldly against his and setting off fireworks in his brain. He decided not to question her, after that. 

 

—

 

They did arrive, eventually, when everyone was just drunk enough to not notice the rather prominent hickey on Sansa’s neck, tucked neatly under her braid, or that Theon’s shirt was inside-out. And if she slipped into his room that night, after everyone else had faded into sleep, well, no one was the wiser.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks SO much for reading this - and for uchihabat for the suggestion of just writing whatever feels fun. oddly enough for my jonsa ass, this felt SUPER fun. i hope you enjoyed it! constructive crit is always welcome. 
> 
> come fangirl with me @ jolieunfiltrd over rey from the last jedi, sansa's perfection, and various other ramblings


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